Punx against fun

Ask me anything   I like a lot of things. I believe in DIY and getting your hands dirty, (and then washing them afterward).
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Aw yis. Doin’ thangs! These pretty leetle babbies will have a dark gray outline. h’aw ye.

Aw yis. Doin’ thangs! These pretty leetle babbies will have a dark gray outline. h’aw ye.

— 1 day ago with 3 notes
#silk screen  #sjlg  #lips 

man, I feel so weird. I’ve gotta do something.

— 1 day ago with 1 note

Since they’ve put this firewall up at work and I do not have a smartphone, I have been reading ravenously, (which is fine and great). Maybe I should quit reading existentialist writers while at work.

— 1 day ago with 2 notes
early-onset-of-night:

Perk up with these three energy boosters you may have missedTraditionally, coffee has been the kick we Americans need to get us rolling in the morning or to get us through that afternoon low. A recent survey by the Kellerman Research Foundation found that 94% of all A.M. posts on social networking sites are about how the poster needs coffee.Coffee is, no doubt, our favorite stimulant, but here are three others you might want to try to combat those “sleepy peepers”:1. MethamphetamineMethamphetamine is a powerful stimulant sure to shoo away the dreary doldrums. It can be snorted, smoked, or shot directly into the vein, so choose the method that best fits your lifestyle and unique personality.Mary Lessle, a mother of two with a full-time job and a husband who golfs and watches sports rather than helps, says methamphetamine saved her life. “I  over-schedule my children, so I have to haul them all over the place in the minivan. Each one has like nine different practices to go to, plus school. I also work full-time and do all of the cooking, cleaning, and shopping. Mark mows the lawn on Saturdays and if I go down on him he might unload the dishwasher, but that’s about it. I have no idea how I’d do it all without meth.”"That’s a bunch of hooey," says Mark. "Remember that time I unplugged the toilet? I must’ve been hunched over that thing with a plunger for like five minutes!""Mark, the only reason it was plugged up in the first place was because you ate all that jalapeno bean dip during the Notre Dame game," says Mary, grinding her teeth and picking at the scabs on her face. "I sure as hell wasn’t going to do it."Methamphetamine has been approved by the FDA for treating ADHD and obesity, but its use as a pick-me-up is rapidly growing in popularity.2. CocaineA natural drug made inside of a plant by Almighty God Himself, cocaine is perfect for those who have a case of the yawns, but still want to remain green and save the planet. Cocaine increases alertness, feelings of well-being, and overall energy. Its use also enhances athletic performance in sports where sustained attention and endurance is required, which may explain why it is so popular among competitive chess players.Cocaine is processed into a powder and is usually snorted. Like organic food and hybrid cars, however, it can be expensive."It’s totally worth it, though," says Ashley Pluppers, a full-time college student and part-time waitress."Without it, I literally feel like crud. I can’t get out of bed, I can’t study, I certainly can’t listen to my boyfriend go on and on about Rand Paul or ‘anarcho-capitalism.’ It’s necessary for proper functioning."Ashley also tutors football players who can barely read on full-ride scholarships while she is certain to be in debt for her education well into her 50s. “Cocaine really helps with that resentment.”She also says that cocaine is an effective tool for keeping the patriarchy and white/cis/male privilege off her mind. “Without cocaine, I just obsess about how unfair everything is for me and everyone who isn’t a straight white male. Mostly me, though. Then I do a few bumps and can’t stop thinking about how awesome I am.”What’s not to love?3. CrackCrack is a neutralization of cocaine hydrochloride with a solution of baking soda and water. It is smoked rather than snorted and is far cheaper than its parent drug, the powder form of cocaine.Originally developed by the U.S. government and its corporate overlords as a response to the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s, it has moved beyond its original purpose of devastating the black community and is now enjoyed by Americans from all walks of life.It’s no slouch in the stimulant department either, providing an instantaneous blast of energy with every puff from the pipe.Dale Watson, a poor, rural white man from Tennessee says crack is even better than steak and potatoes. “I love it. It’s perfect for watching the cockroaches crawl around the trailer. Every time I get to feeling low, or think about how Obama is destroying this great land of ours, I just hit the pipe, put in some Skynyrd, and headbang while making devil’s horns with my fingers.”Although crack is inexpensive, Dale says he still has difficulty affording it. “Sometimes my brothers and sisters get to Momma’s social security check before I do and I have to go down to the truckstop and perform sexual favors, but I can live with that. At least I ain’t mooching off the tax payer.”Crack is not as widely available as methamphetamine or cocaine, but with any luck that will someday change. If you are located in a major city or anywhere in the northeastern or southeastern U.S., however, you should have no problem locating some—and since a rock of crack is cheaper than a grande cafe latte from Starbucks, why wouldn’t you?

early-onset-of-night:

Perk up with these three energy boosters you may have missed

Traditionally, coffee has been the kick we Americans need to get us rolling in the morning or to get us through that afternoon low. A recent survey by the Kellerman Research Foundation found that 94% of all A.M. posts on social networking sites are about how the poster needs coffee.

Coffee is, no doubt, our favorite stimulant, but here are three others you might want to try to combat those “sleepy peepers”:

1. Methamphetamine

Methamphetamine is a powerful stimulant sure to shoo away the dreary doldrums. It can be snorted, smoked, or shot directly into the vein, so choose the method that best fits your lifestyle and unique personality.

Mary Lessle, a mother of two with a full-time job and a husband who golfs and watches sports rather than helps, says methamphetamine saved her life. “I  over-schedule my children, so I have to haul them all over the place in the minivan. Each one has like nine different practices to go to, plus school. I also work full-time and do all of the cooking, cleaning, and shopping. Mark mows the lawn on Saturdays and if I go down on him he might unload the dishwasher, but that’s about it. I have no idea how I’d do it all without meth.”

"That’s a bunch of hooey," says Mark. "Remember that time I unplugged the toilet? I must’ve been hunched over that thing with a plunger for like five minutes!"

"Mark, the only reason it was plugged up in the first place was because you ate all that jalapeno bean dip during the Notre Dame game," says Mary, grinding her teeth and picking at the scabs on her face. "I sure as hell wasn’t going to do it."

Methamphetamine has been approved by the FDA for treating ADHD and obesity, but its use as a pick-me-up is rapidly growing in popularity.

2. Cocaine

A natural drug made inside of a plant by Almighty God Himself, cocaine is perfect for those who have a case of the yawns, but still want to remain green and save the planet. Cocaine increases alertness, feelings of well-being, and overall energy. Its use also enhances athletic performance in sports where sustained attention and endurance is required, which may explain why it is so popular among competitive chess players.

Cocaine is processed into a powder and is usually snorted. Like organic food and hybrid cars, however, it can be expensive.

"It’s totally worth it, though," says Ashley Pluppers, a full-time college student and part-time waitress.

"Without it, I literally feel like crud. I can’t get out of bed, I can’t study, I certainly can’t listen to my boyfriend go on and on about Rand Paul or ‘anarcho-capitalism.’ It’s necessary for proper functioning."

Ashley also tutors football players who can barely read on full-ride scholarships while she is certain to be in debt for her education well into her 50s. “Cocaine really helps with that resentment.”

She also says that cocaine is an effective tool for keeping the patriarchy and white/cis/male privilege off her mind. “Without cocaine, I just obsess about how unfair everything is for me and everyone who isn’t a straight white male. Mostly me, though. Then I do a few bumps and can’t stop thinking about how awesome I am.”

What’s not to love?

3. Crack

Crack is a neutralization of cocaine hydrochloride with a solution of baking soda and water. It is smoked rather than snorted and is far cheaper than its parent drug, the powder form of cocaine.

Originally developed by the U.S. government and its corporate overlords as a response to the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s, it has moved beyond its original purpose of devastating the black community and is now enjoyed by Americans from all walks of life.

It’s no slouch in the stimulant department either, providing an instantaneous blast of energy with every puff from the pipe.

Dale Watson, a poor, rural white man from Tennessee says crack is even better than steak and potatoes. “I love it. It’s perfect for watching the cockroaches crawl around the trailer. Every time I get to feeling low, or think about how Obama is destroying this great land of ours, I just hit the pipe, put in some Skynyrd, and headbang while making devil’s horns with my fingers.”

Although crack is inexpensive, Dale says he still has difficulty affording it. “Sometimes my brothers and sisters get to Momma’s social security check before I do and I have to go down to the truckstop and perform sexual favors, but I can live with that. At least I ain’t mooching off the tax payer.”

Crack is not as widely available as methamphetamine or cocaine, but with any luck that will someday change. If you are located in a major city or anywhere in the northeastern or southeastern U.S., however, you should have no problem locating some—and since a rock of crack is cheaper than a grande cafe latte from Starbucks, why wouldn’t you?

— 1 day ago with 109 notes
Donorschoose.org

oweeeeendennis:

I’m not that far into my life. I’m 27, I’ve got plenty of life left to live. However, I know that I wouldn’t have made it this far without the opportunities I had growing up. These opportunities were provided to me by socioeconomic status, gender, race, location, supporting friends and family, and all kinds of other factors. If I hadn’t had these things, my life would most likely be much darker. I wish everyone had these opportunities, but most people really really don’t have them.

If you want to help people, make sure you reach them in the place where they spend most of their time. When you’re young, school is that place. In a low income environment, the classroom is often the one place that a student can see the world beyond their own lives. A place they can explore new ideas and concepts that they would never otherwise be introduced to.

Donorschoose.org is basically Kickstarter, but for school. A teacher posts a project they want to do with their students and we, the post-school populace, donate some money to help them.

The things they ask for are often absurdly simple. This teacher was recently able to get the school district in DC to give them a couple of computers. What do they need? Some locks. All they need to do is be able to lock the computers so no one steals them. If they’re stolen, those computers will definitely not be replaced. That’s it, they’re gone. How ridiculous is it that a school can’t even afford some locks?

This teacher needed to buy 4 rolls of paper towels for her art students. Of all the absurd things that a teacher wouldn’t be able to afford for their class, paper towels has got to be among the top 5 (preceded by, oh I dunno, fuckin’ paper and pencils??)

My girlfriend showed me this site. She taught in a very low income school in Chicago. She needed five tables so the students could have a place to do their lab work. Can’t really make science at a desk. The cost was 750 dollars. The school couldn’t afford it, so she went to this site, posted her request, and many charitable people helped her achieve her goal! Now, that school has 5 tables where kids can actually get some hands-on learning in science.

My point is this: I can buy a video game where I throw birds at pigs. I can upgrade my burger to include fries. I can get a snack at a movie theater. All of these things lead to a momentary feeling of happiness for my lizard brain. Donating money to a teacher, while understandably less tangible to that brain than an M&M, will do far more good for far more people who need good in their lives.

So pick a subject you care about and look through the projects! I’m sure you’ll find one that clicks for you!

Donorschoose.org

— 5 days ago with 61 notes

brianenofanfiction:

Ayyyy if you live in Baltimore and can give me some advice on finding an apartment please let me know thank you xoxoxo

Hey bentaaaa

— 6 days ago with 3 notes
idostuff asked: Once you get this, you have to say 5 nice things about yourself publicly and then send to 10 of your followers.


Answer:

Five nice thangs. Let’s see.

  1. My hair is more often than not a very nice shade of blue, and I’m into that sort of thing.
  2. I write well.
  3. I am capable of holding a conversation with many different people.
  4. I can create some pretty powerful farts.
  5. I am an organ donor, so hopefully, if something is to happen, I can help someone else out.

— 6 days ago with 1 note

I was at the bar 100 feet from my door hanging out, and this dude is staring at me. When I stared back he said knowingly

"Those aren’t big feet"

at which point I once again acknowledged I was wearing a bigfoot tshirt and acknowledged he was making a joke about my boobs so I stared at him, chin up-pointed, down my long crooked nose, and asked him to repeat himself.

"Excuse me? What ? I didn’t hear you"

Keep in mind this is a small town and this is a small bar. A guy I have known since college is sitting at my table and starts laughing in spite of himself.

"Those aren’t..big feet"

My friend continues laughing and I continue elongating my stare down my elongating nose until the guy turns around.

I was informed that this person was not embarrassed, but I asked him to repeat himself before he defeated-ly turned around.

Excuse me, who are you?

— 1 week ago with 3 notes

yo —————————

poop log

— 1 week ago with 1 note

They are now enforcing serious firewall usage at work, which means I cannot use the vast majority of websites for reasons such as “humor” and “kidtimewasting,” (that was xkcd). But it also blocks the lecture notes for the open courses at MIT and that is what  am the most irritated about. I monitor this company’s facebook, (despite the fact that I am a peon), and my supervisor had to make a case/beg for them to allow my facebook usage to continue to do that - but they made certain to tell me that my facebook activity, just like the rest of the web activity, will continue to be monitored. lol.

So yesterday I began googling things such as “puppy in hat,” “dogs wearing hats,” “cats in costumes,” “live pigs in blankets,” and then I leave my browser open while I do other things, such as color with crayons, at my desk. Today begins more intense searches, such as “why are my fingers like tiny sausages,” and “what ever happened to the good ol’ days?”

— 1 week ago with 4 notes

i feel very lost.

— 1 week ago with 1 note